I couldn’t get too mad at her. She was so innocent about it. She was a just turned four-year-old who wanted so badly to be an artist like her sister. And, she would wake up in the wee hours of the morning. What’s a precocious, curious, smart little girl to do, but grab a red sharpie and have at it?
Real Life Example #1: By the time I woke up, my darling Ellie had decorated the wall, her bunk bed, and herself with permanent red marker (to this day and henceforth PapaGray has enlisted a Sharpie ban in the house). She had on “eyeshadow”, and since she’d rather be naked and completely free, she just drew on her own panties. Completely. Colored them all in. Yes, if you are questioning where she covered, I’ll remind you that she colored it all in.
Impulsive, compulsive talker, distractible, interrupts all the time, button-pusher…yep, that’s my Ellie, the high I personality style.
Life of the party, friend to everyone, energetic and enthusiastic, incredibly charming, adaptable and engaging…this is my Ellie as well. Everyone knows the high I style, and the high I knows everyone’s name. They are the ultimate connectors and the ones at every social event.
Peacocks are flashy, otters are playful, and the air is everywhere and unpredictable. All great analogies for the high I style. They have open body language, definitely dress to impress, and love to tell stories!
A high I needs recognition and support for their ideas. Like I stated in last week’s post, any strength, when overused, can become a weakness. For an I, their greatest fear is rejection. They just want to be liked by everyone! People are their top priority, and they can talk your ear off! When an I senses rejection, sometimes they overcompensate. Then, that entertaining person who started an interesting story is now dragging the story on and on, you’ve lost interest, and as you back away, they start talking faster and faster and moving all up in your personal space!
Real Life Example #2: My mother. Sweet mama loves to be all things to all people, and she is the first to say she has “enabling” down to a fine art! When she is overloaded with tedious tasks working with a publisher on her next book (check out her last one here), she does what any high I loves: dinner with friends, and some retail therapy! Going shopping and eating as a way of reward are very typical high I stress relievers, and I can always count on my mother to be up for either!
If you are a high I, pay attention to the verbal cues of others around you. If you see them stepping back and lacking interest, allow for some space. Remember,
Sometimes people need space to breathe and to process what you say, and sometimes high I‘s are rattling off things so fast they lose people. Slow things down, and remember that conversations are a two-way street.
If an I child misbehaves, the cold shoulder is just…cold. This feels like complete rejection to them. Instead, tell them what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and what the consequence will be. Alone time can be a teaching tool that isn’t just shunning them – but helping them to sit with their thoughts without the distractions of friends, and really comprehend what they did. Always allow them to right their wrongs, so they feel fully back in good graces, and reassure them that you love them and know they will make a better choice next time!
And remember, precociousness and play are the essence of your high I. Give them space to get their energy out – especially if they need to do something task-oriented (like schoolwork). Because, seriously, when your child hijacks your phone and does something like this, you have to just marvel at their awesomeness and how much you love them!
The video above was the catalyst for Ellie having her own website, www.ByeByeILoveYou.com. Perfect for this little I, she lets everyone know that “wherever you go, remember you are loved”. Check it out. 🙂
Do you identify with this personality style? Do you have a high I example you can share below?