I just finished listening to another powerful book called “Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts and Becoming the Person You Want To Be” by Marshall Goldsmith. I am loving my drive-time and listening to powerful audiobooks on all kinds of subjects. This one investigated the environmental and sociological triggers that can derail us in work and in life. Interestingly enough, in my work with personality styles, this is a key element – by understanding an individual’s unique personality style, you can better identify those triggers that bring out the best (and the worst) in each other.
Chapter thirteen was a pretty pivotal chapter for me, especially in looking at relationships in your home. He uses the acronym AIWATT and discusses this mindset:
Am I willing, at this time, to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic?
Every endeavor comes with this first principle that dramatically improves our chances of success. How willing are you to invest in..anything? In sitting down with your children – are you really present in the moment? Are you investing in your relationship with your spouse – and willing to have those hard conversations that may get you out of a rut and into a deeper connection?
What about that friend who wants to jump into the latest gossip or complain once again about situations completely out of your control? Are you willing to invest to make a positive difference on this topic? What exactly does that investment look like?
Here is the biggie – sometimes, the best investment you can make is by simply letting it go. Sometimes, it’s not about what you are dishing out as much as what you are soaking in. Sometimes, people simply need to vent. And sometimes, your silence speaks volumes on what you are willing to invest in. Don’t get stuck in the rut of venting, either. Don’t be a doormat, and also don’t invest your energy in negativity.
Balance the good and the bad, and keep your focus on that which brings a positive outcome.
How can you invest in the positives in your life? I’ll be diving more into personality styles over the next few weeks, and am eager to share with you how understanding how each of us are wired can help to make your investment into each relationship even more powerful. Ask yourself this question in your daily interactions – how are you going to invest to make a positive outcome? And if you can’t make it positive, is it worth your time and energy?