It’s Not A Habit; It’s Intimacy (Episode 25)
Don’t create habits. Create something positive that is missed in your routine when it’s absent. Get intimate – with your connection to your own body, with your partner, and making connections with friends that feed your soul.
Welcome to Season Three on the Mama Says Namaste Podcast. In this series, we focus on how to clear the clutter not just from your home, but also your head and your heart to create that space for clarity and connection.
Join me and dive in to “The Minimalist To-Do List!”
Tasks: They Are Taking Over My Life!
Life Is Messy, and Tasks are Always Present
Just to reiterate, if I were to break life up into different components, it would go something like what follows. Yet even in separating this out, you will see that life simply is. In our unschooling world, we don’t split subjects up into math, English and science; we incorporate it all into life skills that blend them together.
Think of this concept as we dive in – here are the areas of our lives again that I brought up last week:
• Personal Development
• Life Tasks
Picking up where we left off…
So…in the midst of wrangling children, getting work done, and the endless to-do list, let me guess: working out is pushed to the back burner. I completely feel you. I have been there, and with my workaholic tendencies, I am guilty of sitting in one spot and realizing I haven’t eaten, much less worked out, all day.
What does exercise give us? Many of us completely dread it. But guess what – there are a gazillion and one ways to be physically active, and many have nothing to do with hitting the gym. It’s not about doing a traditional workout. When I say “physical” is important, it’s the fact that with TVs, computers, cars and more, we have the ability to sit on our butts day in and day out – and what does it give us?
• Weight Gain
• Low Self-Esteem
• Higher likelihood of injuries (unused muscles/bones mean more likely to get hurt)
• I could go on and on with a list of negatives, but that’s not my style
Instead, let’s get to the why and the how. You know all the perks of being physical – getting more energy, feeling great about yourself, being healthier because you are aware of and taking care of your body, etc.
Own this and make it fun
This is not drudgery. It isn’t something that you have to have animosity toward. This is your body; your beautiful shell that holds all the magnificence inside. It’s your piece of art that you can decorate any way you want. Getting out and getting physical does so much for your own confidence and energy, plus it’s an excellent way to connect with others. Here are some ideas on how to get physical outside of the traditional gym model. Add these in to life. You don’t have to carve out two hours for the gym. Set a timer on your phone or calendar alerts to go off every hour or two, and add in the little energy boosts to get your heart rate up. Do squats while you brush your teeth. Pushups while the coffee brews. Push yourself to not simply observe your kids playing tag, but to join them.
Stop, drop, and give me twenty. Nathan and I do 100 pushups a day. Insane? Possibly. But when you set breaks throughout the day to stop and do 15-20 at a time, you not only allow your brain a break and your body an energy boost, but you can accomplish something much bigger by the end of the day. It is so important to allow for those breaks in your day. A shift in focus from work – or kids – to something that makes you feel strong, energized and motivated can be what gets you over that midday hump.
Shift your mindset – love your body and embrace the effort you put into it instead of beating yourself up.
Sex is as essential as exercise. Sex and physical touch are just as critical to your intimate relationship as exercise is to your relationship with your body.
Don’t create habits. Create something positive that is missed in your routine when it’s absent.
There are a lot of interesting people who are waiting to be invited. Don’t sit back and wait. Invite them.
Ah, the black hole of nothingness for parents of young children. No matter how social you are, adding in a new baby or a toddler going through yet another “phase”, and you have a recipe for all baby, no social life. Babysitters are expensive – you can end up spending $100 simply by being out of the house for a few hours, not counting the restaurant and movie tickets.
I know how impossible it can be to maintain a social life when you are feeding a little human every two hours. There are times in our lives where we do go into a bit of survival mode. There is only so much of us to go around, and sleep deprivation plus just the overall neediness of kids can take a lot out of you.
This is important, though. Our social circles have shrunk immensely. We’re having fewer children, and families are spread further apart (the “cousin connections” of the past aren’t so common, as families spread out across the country). We have longer commutes, more and more screen time to entertain us, and the overwhelming tasks of this information-overloaded society to keep up with.
Entrepreneur Jim Rohn says:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
There is power in a pack. We are pack animals, and community makes us stronger. When surrounded by positive relationships, studies have shown time and time again how a person’s well-being increases in direct proportion to the connection with others who lift them up. There are cognitive studies showing a direct correlation between a person’s well-being and their friend’s – if your friends are healthy, you tend to be, too. If they are positive and upbeat, so are you. Who they are becomes a part of us.
I grew up having a select few close friends. The older I got, the more broad my friend circle grew – I had my larger social network, and my core group of powerful friendships. I stopped finding “friends of convenience” – simply pursuing relationships with anyone who may came into my life – and I’ve been intentional about finding a community I thrive in. I’ve learned to be selective about my friendships and social life and not simply do everything that’s out there. I don’t attend a ton of social events. However, I cherish the friendships I do have, and believe each one is significant in my life right now.
Friends come and go, and that’s okay!
Friends don’t have to stay in your life forever. Some of my best friendships aren’t the longest, but the ones where we deeply connected at a time we both needed it. There are seasons of life that will bring forth different friendships, but the point of this is that we need to be surrounded by people who encourage us, pick us up, challenge us, and make us laugh. Life needs to stay fun – otherwise, what’s the point of living it? Remember to play, have fun, and connect with others for no other intention than to simply find joy and connection.
It’s only what it was…because of when it was.
You are exposed to new worlds, new perspectives, and the fun of play with friendships. No matter what age or stage in life, friends help us along the way and are a critical part of our lives. Remember community, and remain social – this is just as important as the other areas of life.
Care for some Q&A? Hit us with any questions you have, and we’ll send you a personal email response back and may address it on a future podcast! Simply email Ashley directly at [email protected]
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*Podcast music by the awesome Renee & Jeremy who cover “Put a Little Love In Your Heart” by Jackie DeShannon. Props to both of them for this beautiful rendition that epitomizes what I want for families!