How to live without saying a word: A Lesson In Awareness (Episode 21)
Our “Quiet” Experiment and Top Tips for Awareness In Your Home
Welcome to Season Three on the Mama Says Namaste Podcast. In this series, we will focus on how to clear the clutter not just from your home, but also your head and your heart to create that space for clarity and connection.
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Imagine putting an end to toddler meltdowns, bedtime battles, temper tantrums, power struggles and angsty teens…not by demanding it stop, but by having a deeper understanding of the root of what’s going on with your child.
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Our Quiet Experiment:
Refer back to last week’s post, www.MamaSaysNamaste.com/senses under the “sound” section – there is a podcast episode on “Quiet” – go back and check it out.
- A child embraces the quiet and mimics the silence
- Two others filled the space with their own words.
- How often do we feel the pressure to answer/respond to every single thing? Sometimes kids ask questions just to talk, but don’t really care. Or they ask a question and they can figure out the answer on their own. Not responding to every single comment/question with your child allows the opportunity for them to process out loud and figure out their own conclusions. Allow space for processing.
- It got much quieter – the kids immediately started whispering more. The next morning, it was super chill. Less fighting, way less demands, and more quiet play.
- Less is more – there was a lot of talking done that was unnecessary. Hold back more and not dive into a lecture.
- Encourage silence and connection in other ways.
- Conversation is such a deep way of connecting…yet…holding back and observing – to be quiet, aware, and notice before plunging forward…can make such an impact on what all you soak in.
- It helped us to be more intentional about what was said. What was worth voicing, fighting for, pointing out?
- It was hard not talking as a couple after the kids went to bed – we went back to the Pillow Play app (https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pillow-couples-intimacy/id1060044689?mt=8&at=1000lqxe ) – one of the first episodes we did was simply looking into one another’s eyes for an extended period of time.
Take a quiet walk and use “Scatter Vision” – The Way of the Scout: A Native American Path to Finding Spiritual Meaning in a Physical World (http://amzn.to/2gs7kDy) – Nathan has been reading this to the girls and they love learning how to live in nature and really be one with it.
Positive non-sexual touch – touch your children. Help them to learn what positive touch is that has no sexual agenda. They learn how to differentiate what is okay…and not okay.
Awareness at home:
“Be aware of your surroundings.”
Here are some tips for bringing awareness into your home:
• When you walk into a room, come in silently. Observe what is going on around you. If someone is talking, wait until they are finished before you speak.
• Take turns – for every story you tell, comment you have to make, etc., allow the chance for someone else to give back to you with their own voice. Don’t compete…complete.
• For every complaint, come up with five positives that you are grateful for right at this very moment. Check out Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day (http://amzn.to/2yaikxj). The more you speak it, the more it becomes your reality. Remember the law of attraction.
• You have the right to feel any and every emotion. Voice it and get it out. But don’t dwell on it. Don’t allow it to become you – create the energy you want to have, and allow that to direct your day, instead of the reaction to a negative energy. The last thing we need in the midst of our struggle is shame for being human (Brené Brown). Don’t bring someone else down – what good does it do for anyone?
• Be open to learning new things from anyone you meet. When hard times hit, ask “what does this make possible?” What can you learn – you have the opportunity to learn something from everyone.
• Take in the moments. Be present. Stop planning for the future or dwelling in the past. What’s done is done, and what is tomorrow can wait until tomorrow. Be present in the second that is right now. Close your eyes and take it in. Wait to worry.Anxiety merely draws your attention to an illusion. You are HERE. You are PRESENT. You are HOME.Click To Tweet
• Before you dive into dinner as a family, observe a moment of silence. Regardless of your religion (or lack thereof), taking a moment of silence before you eat allows you to reflect on your life with gratitude, listen to the peace and calm that begins your evening, and resets and recharges everyone with an equal energy of meditation. I was amazed at how simple this was and what a difference it made in our dinnertimes. We started with just ten seconds of silence and are building it up to potentially 2 minutes. They forget what they were complaining about or acting crazy about, and simply soak in the silence. It’s magical.
A lot of these have been inspiration from different books I’m reading lately – check out my recommendations on my book list – I’ve been reading/listening to a ton this year that have really rocked my world. For an excellent parenting book, check out Simplicity Parenting (http://amzn.to/2g2AaNZ)
Beware of signposts – it’s not the destination. It simply states what is coming, but our experiences with it will all be very different. Don’t throw it all out if one part doesn’t resonate. Learn through your own filter, and look for the lesson in everything.
This week we’re having fun with memes on FB – I’m a sucker for them, and we’ll be picking 1 winner to get a free audible download of Simplicity Parenting. Hop over to the Mama Says Namaste Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/MamaSaysNamaste/) and share yours!
What are some rules for your household? Not things like “no jumping on the couch” – I’m talking principles to live by to become the people you want to be!
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*Podcast music by the awesome Renee & Jeremy who cover “Put a Little Love In Your Heart” by Jackie DeShannon. Props to both of them for this beautiful rendition that epitomizes what I want for families!