Think Three Times, Speak Only Once (Episode 46)
This week we dig more into personality styles – steady, loyal, precise, factual…do any of these describe you or your child? The saying “Think three times, speak only once” resonates with people who would rather sit back and observe, processing through their thoughts before acting on them. The more you know these personality styles, the more you gain respect and understanding for how they tick.
Episode 46: S and C Personality Styles
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Last week was D and I – so many great traits that can be a strength…or a negative reaction.
Now we move from the visionaries and dreamers to the implementers and doers.
Slow and Steady…
High S – in terms of animals, this is your Golden Retriever or dove – loyal, peacemaker, typically easy going…these are people-focused types who thrive in relationships – however, unlike the high I, they don’t command the attention of the room and prefer to not be in the limelight.
A common mode of processing for a high S personality style is “think three times, speak only once.”
They are highly observant and feed off the emotions and cues of others. This can be a great asset and strength as they can empathize and have understanding for others. And, it can also overwhelm a high S who has fallen into an enabling trap of trying to be all things to all people.
A High S fears loss of security. Feeling overwhelmed and trying to function in a fast-paced environment can stress them out and shut them down. It’s easier to shut down and ignore than it is to confront and create conflict. So you may see a typically caring and involved person completely pull away when they are feeling insecure. A great way to combat this is to look for routines – something consistent that can be the steady solid in a world of constant curveballs. Find something that is tried and true – a daily talk, run, time alone, etc that gives them routine and consistency.
Ss feel strongly and deeply, so allowing safe space for them to process and feel is huge in helping them to thrive in their strengths.
Cautious and Calculating…
A High C personality style is like a beaver or owl – think about the intricacy and planning required with a beaver dam, and how we relate owls to wisdom – being quiet, observant and precise. Cs are detailed, analytical, realistic and purposeful.
A high C child is super inquisitive and wants to know everything that’s going on. The questions may drive you crazy – especially when you feel like they need to just “trust you” – but it isn’t about trust; it’s about them needing to know the “why” behind it all. Their desire to understand can be their best strength. They cover the bases and can be very confident in what they know.
That being said, criticism will quickly tear a high C down. They hate to be criticized, and, for fear of that, they can end up having paralysis by analysis, trying so hard to get things perfect.
The way to speak love to a high C is to focus on the task – it’s to tell them they did a great job, paid attention to the details, covered their bases, etc. For a high S, it’s to bring it back to the relationship – telling them how they make you feel, how you love them, and simply being by their side.
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