True Parent Struggles: TRANSITIONS (Episode 92)
Having a hard time dealing with transitions with kids in your home? It can be hard to move from one thing to another even as adults, so here are tips and tactics to ease transitions with kids - and adults - in your life!
In this episode, we tackle transitions with kids and how to navigate them.
How does your child "tick"?
If you really want to work through transitions with kids, you need to look at what their unique personality style is. As you probably know, we end every podcast episode saying, "the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us". This is for good reason!
It's not just about understanding who you are, but gaining a deeper perspective on where someone else is coming from so you can move from simply communicating to truly connecting.
Pin for later:
"Any transition is easier if you believe in yourself and your talent"
Where are we this week?
There are so many amazing photos that have been taken lately of the girls, some by me, and many by Clara!
For her twelfth birthday, Clara got a phone. Keep in mind this is our introverted child, so she's thrilled about taking pictures, learning Spanish on the Duolingo app, and researching things on her phone.
She did a photo shoot of the girls here to highlight her crochet items for sale - check them out in her store!
Follow us on our journey on Insta as the FieldTripGypsies!
What is this "Personality snapshot"?
It's this "namaste" approach - to see the beauty within another, and connect on a deeper level. Find out more here:
How can you recognize your strengths, what triggers reactive behavior, and what motivates you?
Sometimes this snapshot is the first step...and the next is this crazy thing called...
So let's address Transitions with kids in relation to DISC
- D - this is like a lion or eagle. They are visionaries, big picture thinkers. They love change! They love change and a challenge, but if they are engrossed in a project they want to accomplish, or if they feel out of control, they will exert that strong will.
- Offer a challenge (ie, let's beat the clock)
- Give them something that lets them feel in control (ie, you pick the black or the blue shoes today)
- I - they are like peacocks or otters. Life of the party, look at me, lots of transitions like shiny object syndrome! It's important to help them remain focused vs. transitioning, and to empower them to help lead a change.
- Ask for their help to get everyone on board for a transition (ie, can you help me get the kids moving toward the car?)
- Make it fun! They thrive on team efforts, playing games, and getting the limelight.
- S - they are like golden retrievers or doves. Peacemakers, steady, great listeners, more behind-the-scenes. They can resist change and need time to prepare for it. They are chill...until rushed.
- Let them know in advance. Go over the schedule for the day. Let them know the night before what to expect. Don't push them last minute - prepare them in advance.
- Let them feel supported and included - give them space to process and potentially help in the process.
- C - like beavers and owls. They love the facts and are detailed, logical and systematic. They want to know how things were done in the past, and can dig in their heels and resist change if pressured. Letting them know in advance is huge.
- Prep them and allow them to question why. Give them logical answers. Set the expectation on the front end.
- When you tell them what your reasoning is (ie, "We are going to the grocery because we're out of spinach and apples).
Some additional resources for you
- Personality Test for kids...is this really necessary?
- The first podcast season series: Be the Good, See the Good - all about personality styles!
- Personality Snapshots - learn more here
- Get coaching for your family on navigating different personality styles
- Opposites Attract? Different styles in couples
- Curious what personality style your children are, and they aren't yet five? Check out the "Family DISCovery Playbook"
Include your children vs. TELL them
It's not just about cluing in your children. It's INcluding them in the conversation. It's having them be a part of the scheduling instead of simply a pawn to be moved around whenever parents say so. Give them the opportunity to have a voice and ask questions when you prep on the front end instead of reacting in the heat of the moment.
Refresher on empowering your kids - go back to the Safety and Deliberate Dialogue episode where we talk about Andrew Bustamante and #EverydaySpy
Get proactive and cover your bases - let them know in advance,
and you prepare yourself, too!
True Parent Struggles...
Your Weekly Challenge:
Sit down and talk with your child(ren) this week about what transition looks like in your home. How easy is it to get out the door? Move from play to clean-up?
Talk to your children at night or first thing in the morning about the schedule for the day so they know and are prepared.
It's usually not your children. This boils down to you as the parent. How do you model transitioning? If you are running frantically and just reacting, it makes perfect sense as to why your children are doing the same thing! Remember, true change starts by looking inward first. And as we look inward, we can start to see how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.
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