We have a new mantra in our house – “Be aware of your surroundings.” Life can pass us by so quickly, and as we grow older, we tend to lose sight of that beautiful essence of awe that we have as a child. I don’t want my children to ever, ever forget this. So on our kitchen chalkboard, we have this:
Here is what we are all practicing as a family:
- When you walk into a room, come in silently. Observe what is going on around you. If someone is talking, wait until they are finished before you speak.
- Take turns – for every story you tell, comment you have to make, etc., allow the chance for someone else to give back to you with their own voice.
- For every complaint, come up with five positives that you are grateful for right at this very moment.
- You have the right to feel any and every emotion. Voice it and get it out. But don’t dwell on it. Don’t allow it to become you – create the energy you want to have, and allow that to direct your day, instead of the reaction to a negative energy.
- Take in the moments. Be present. Stop planning for the future or dwelling in the past. What’s done is done, and what is tomorrow can wait until tomorrow. Be present in the second that is right now. Close your eyes and take it in.
- Be open to learning new things from anyone you meet.
- Before you dive into dinner as a family, observe a moment of silence. Regardless of your religion (or lack thereof), taking a moment of silence before you eat allows you to reflect on your life with gratitude, listen to the peace and calm that begins your evening, and resets and recharges everyone with an equal energy of meditation. I was amazed at how simple this was and what a difference it made in our dinnertimes. We started with just ten seconds of silence and are building it up to potentially 2 minutes. With a two-year-old, that’s pretty impressive. They forget what they were complaining about or acting crazy about, and simply soak in the silence. It’s magical.
A lot of these have been inspiration from different books I’m reading lately – check out my recommendations on my book list – I’ve been reading/listening to a ton this year that have really rocked my world. For an excellent parenting book, check out Simplicity Parenting.
What are some rules for your household? Not things like “no jumping on the couch” – I’m talking principles to live by to become the people you want to be!
Ha – that’s the truth. That’s been the hardest one for them to do, but they are working hard on it! And yes, like what I just replied to Mom, respect is the quintessential element I value most from my childhood!
Yep, that is forever drilled into my mind, as well as “are you an AmeriCAN or an AmeriCAN’T”. The firmest foundation and best lesson you gave me, though, was ultimate respect for others – that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, no matter if they are cleaning your toilets or performing heart surgery. That openness and love for all is a huge part of who I am today, and that came from what I saw with you and Dad.
I completely agree, Kevin – respect is huge, and the thing I remember the most about our own childhood. In our house it’s respect all things – both living and not. This includes people but also their toys, our house, etc. Love and respect is so essential.
As for the hair, I’m going on week FOURTEEN of no shampoo. Absolutely crazy and my hair is softer and more supple than ever, which is great considering at the beginning of the year I really screwed up with some bad dye jobs. My apology is allowing my hair to be free and create it’s own nourishment instead of me putting anything else in it for a while. Respect the hair. 😉
Wow – thanks so much!! It’s crazy how the little blogs we sometimes do off the top of our heads tend to be the ones that resonate the most with people. We are always growing as a family and what is routine now will change, I know. However, these are the little principles we are instilling now that I hope will take root and be lifelong practices for all of us!
I love this post—and this practice—Ashley. Beautiful! I am going to share this with my followers on Twitter.
Really, really great Ashley. I’m going to think about some of these for our family. Rules for our household? The one I spend the most time on is…respect for others. In truth, love for others. If I can give the kids anything, my ultimate goal is love for others. This is the fruit I pray and strive for most. It’s what I watch for. How are they loving and caring for their siblings and friends? So most boundaries I’m setting are around this. Well, that and cleaning up the mess you made. And with boys, “Wash your hair! It stinks!”
Ashley, This is amazing. I am so proud of what you are instilling in your children at a young age. I want to pass this along to friends of mine who will likely pass this along for their grandchildren. I think the best mantra we had in our home as you were growing up was (and still is) “We don’t have a problem, we have an opportunity for a solution”. Love you much, Momma
Ashley,
Great post. I laughed when I read the first tip – knowing the energy level of your girls (When you walk into a room, come in silently.) What a wonderful exercise for them to practice. Just common respect was always a big factor in the household you grew up in. And still is. That sets the stage for the other great points you make here.