Raising Confident Kids – Speaking to Adults (Episode 245)
Can Your Child Talk To Adults?
Oftentimes we hear comments about how you can tell who the homeschool kids are because they are the ones who talk to adults. Why yes, homeschoolers aren't always seen as backwards kids isolated in their own bubble and unable to talk to others.
The biggest question many homeschoolers get is, "but what about socialization?" Let me do a really quick break down here -
If you are required to be with only your own age group for the majority of the day, and only allowed to really talk and visit at certain times, your skill-set for engaging with a diverse group is likely to be more limited.
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This isn't just a knock on traditional school kids. If you are only staying in your own home and limiting interaction with any diversity, you are, again, setting the stage for more limited interaction abilities across the board.
When I talk about socialization for our children, it's up to us as parents to ensure they have opportunities to engage with others beyond their own bubble.
So if you're creating the opportunities for your children to experience interacting with a variety of people - of different ages, abilities, cultures, etc - you are paving the way for powerful social skills to get them through anything and help them succeed.
How To Win Friends and Influence People
We strongly believe social skills and personal responsibility are critical components of being an overall more positive impact in this world. Recognizing how to connect with others in a way that accomplishes what you both need/want and knowing your own personal impact and how it affects others is such a valuable component for growth and connection in this world.
There are so many great books and more to help you present yourself in your best light. The old classic, "How To Win Friends And Influence People", has these as your key standards:
The Magic of Thinking Big
In the book, The Magic of Thinking Big, there are these key points:
Another excellent book that really explores the Science of People is Vanessa Van Edwards' book, Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People. This is next on my list to actually go through with my kids to learn more about the science and impact behind our actions and reactions - it's truly fascinating.
In it, she shares about the way to work around feeling awkward, being an introvert, what people are really paying attention to, and more. It's fascinating to connect the science to the socializing we see in our culture, and better understand why we act the way we do.
Stop and Assess
All of the tactics laid out above are principles we've worked on with our kids - and for ourselves. It's not just about forcing our children to interact with people all over. It's about exposing them to variety, and giving them the tools to effectively interact for a positive outcome. And when even our young children can learn how to engage in back and forth conversations with others, it opens the doors for deeper respect and connection across the board.
If your child doesn't talk to adults, or struggles with their interactions with others, pay attention to how much opportunity they truly have to practice it. I can't overstate how important real life experience is.
This week, take a step back from leading the conversations with your children, and open the door to some new conversations with others. Be careful not to speak for them; give them the floor to engage with another without you crafting the words or intention for them.
One of the most powerful ways our children learned to engage with others was to be present with us as we talked, and for us to invite them into the conversation and allow them to have their own voice.
Give the space for your child to participate in more conversations than just their age group. You may be surprised at the insights they have, or the level of growth that happens when they are allowed to be viewed outside of their age bracket and simply be seen and heard for the thoughts in their head. Keep fostering opportunities for your children to show up, look people in the eyes, speak up, and get a feel for how their voice - and their impact truly matters in this world. It's not just the adults that are the world-changers, and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned from even the youngest among us. As we continue to open the door to allow everyone to shine their light, we all gain more wisdom on the many ways our world is viewed, and how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.
- How Do I Talk To My Kids? (And Beyond) Episode 161
- Are Teenagers Like Brussels Sprouts? (Episode 206)
- Creating Your Family Vision – Your Key for Family Connection
- Why I Believe In Functional Education For Our Future…and what that even is
- Home Education Resources
- The Unschooling Parent (Episode 194)
- But What About Socialization for My Family on the Road? (Episode 75)
- Homeschooling: But What About Socialization?
- Learning at Home The Socratic Way – Special Guest Samantha Jansky (Episode 158)