Who Has Time For Sex As A Parent, Anyway? (Episode 14) ⋆ Mama Says Namaste

Who Has Time For Sex As A Parent, Anyway? (Episode 14)

Nathan loves to joke about sex in our house:

Do I want another kid?  Nope. But we can still keep practicing.  

This is the second series on the Mama Says Namaste Podcast with my most favorite guest (and partner for life), Nathan Logsdon.  In this series, we dig deep into the critical components that create a healthy and happy intimate relationship – join us as we discuss

Laughter, Humble Pie, and Lots of Sex!

Do you make space for sex and intimacy in your relationship? As parents, it oftentimes is the first thing to go out the window. Join Nathan and Ashley as they dive deep into the topic (and importance of sex) in this week's podcast

You know that look on a woman’s face when she wants sex?  Me neither.   – Steve Martin

It’s hard to stay emotionally distant when you are physically connected. 

We created the habit of physical touch on a daily basis – it became a habit like meditation/yoga – a critical component for our marital health. 

The Five Love Languages:

  1. Physical Touch
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Receiving Gifts
  5. Quality Time

The curve ball of children – our intimate relationships can easily slip to the back burner.If you have time to reproduce, you have time to practice. Check out our top tips to ignite your love life - even as a busy parent. 

Pain happens to everyone.  But do we carry it around like a weight that prevents us from moving forward?  Does it become so much a part of our identity that it becomes larger than the present moment?

Therapy is a process of letting go.  It’s not allowing it to fester as a core component of your identity, but allowing yourself to acknowledge that pain, process it, and set it down.  Seeing a counselor is one way.  Journalling, running, art, music…these are all ways to help release pain and process through it. 

What story do you want to create for the future?  Put your past story down and think about what you want to pick back up again.

Ease into love.  Start with conversation.  Move to massage, bathing together, and building trust and confidence in your relationship. 

Set aside time for this.  Don’t wait for it to organically happen.  If you are trying to write a story, you have to be intentional.  Don’t hope it will just “happen” – create it.  Make it an important component of your day. 

Love builds on itself.  If you want love, BE love.  Reflect the love you want to receive.

Check out Dr. Laura Bergman’s “Quantum Love” series: We have really learned a lot and have experienced “quantum love” at a whole new level.  I highly recommend it! (http://hhafftrk.com/?a=6271&c=2500&p=r&s1=)

Ways to build a connected relationship – look at the 5 love languages and take the quiz (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/)

Go back to the personality styles – can you affirm them, create a safe place, allow control and confidence in an area (like leading a massage, for example)?

The Talmud tractate on marriage contracts states that the righteous couple should make love every Friday night.  It’s part of observing and enjoying the Sabbath – of honoring each other.

Eliminate the guessing game – go ahead and assign days to each other.  Who takes the lead?  This can help so much in allowing one person to experience simply receiving love, and learning more about each other’s bodies, etc.

Pillow Play – This is an awesome little app to build sexual intimacy – meditations, exercises and challenges to help you grow closer together beyond just the act of making love. (https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pillow-intimate-sensual-adventures/id1060044689?at=1000lqxe)

Even if you don’t “like” them in the moment, don’t shut down the physical. 

Reach out and touch and affirm that the commitment to love is still there even if you aren’t seeing eye to eye on something.  Don’t go to bed angry and distant.

Read more from my previous blog post on sex here: https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/laughter-humble-pie-and-lots-of-sex-part-3/

Your challenge this week: 

Reach out and touch your partner and connect at least once a day.  Hug, caress, embrace, kiss…make love.  Bulletproof it so you commit to the intentional time to connect.

And remember, if you’re liking what you hear, we want to hear from you! 

*Podcast music by the awesome Renee & Jeremy who cover “Put a Little Love In Your Heart” by Jackie DeShannon.  Props to both of them for this beautiful rendition that epitomizes what I want for families!

Free ebook on marriage and relationships

Mama Rose

Ashley Logsdon is a Family and Personality Styles Coach and Lifelong Learner. She and her husband Nathan are RVing the States and unschooling their 3 girls. Her mission is to shift the mindsets of families from reaction to intention, and guide them in creating the family they love coming home to. Looking deeper than the surface, we assess the strengths, triggers, and simplifying your lifestyle so you truly recognize how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us. Join the Mama Says Namaste Facebook Group

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