Embrace The Struggle (Episode 41)
Is failure a tattoo or simply a bruise? Can you allow your children to struggle and be uncomfortable? This week we talk about the importance of the struggle in developing our own little butterflies. It may be hard, yet it’s so important in fostering resilience with our children.
The Mama Says Namaste Podcast song has arrived! For the full version of cuteness, I recommend you hop over to our YouTube channel and watch this video of us singing it live!
Where are we? Orlando, Florida…right down the road from Disneyworld, not land. See our pictures and follow our adventures on Instagram as @FieldTripGypsies
You cannot control what your children are exposed to; you can only influence the way they perceive it.
Ask questions instead of simply filling in the gaps.
New way to lose…and everything to gain: The importance of “failure” in our lives – and how to step back from being your child’s savior. Read the full summary on Functional Education here.
Not sure what personality style your child is? Check out the Namaste Snapshot for kids!
The documentary we watched on Netflix about birth and differences was “9 Months That Made You” – it was fascinating!
3 Ways To Allow The Struggle
- Be the Guide: help your child prepare for their own independence. Coach/practice in order to allow them to do it on their own. You stay by their side through the practice portion, but the actual performance is all on the child.
- Be the Pusher: allow them to butt up against the edge of their own limitations. Don’t force, but nudge them beyond what they believe they are capable of (for example, swimming and holding breath underwater).
- Challenge them beyond their fear. Get uncomfortable/scared/nervous and bump against that to help build your comfort zone even more. Go past the boundary and expand.
- Marie Forleo’s video on the comfort zone and the growth zone: Are you afraid of taking your business to a whole new level?
- Step out of the way: allow your children to experience anger, pain, loss/grief, frustration, loneliness, etc. Let them hash it out on their own and come to their own conclusions, or feel the impact of the negative feeling. Oftentimes this is what is needed for the lesson to be learned.
“By trying to protect children from disappointment, we protect them from hoping, striving, dreaming and sometimes from achieving their dreams.” Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish (How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk.)
We cannot feel the triumph of success when we don’t allow for the defeat of a perceived failure.
Your challenge this week: Step out of the way. Don’t swoop in or interpret every step with your children. Pay attention to your own struggles and model it for your children. Unpack your own experience for building resilience and allow the struggle, just like a butterfly in a cocoon.
Next week, we’ll talk about credibility – what qualifies you as a teacher…or are you comfortable with being a guide? What does that mean? What type of parent – and guide are you?
Allow for space to struggle this week. Push a little further than you believe is possible – for you, and for your children. And celebrate the struggle, and the opportunity for growth, as one more step in recognizing how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.
Share with us your thoughts – where have you struggled and feared failure? how have you grown from it and become a better person because of it?
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