I Hate To Break It To Him… How to Communicate Effectively (Episode 130)
How do you communicate effectively? Think about this in your home and beyond. We talk a lot about personality styles on here, and the importance of understanding how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us. We’re going to share two key lessons to move from basic communication to true connection.
Lack of communication indicates lack of respect.
How Do You Communicate Effectively?
Have you ever struggled to be heard, or know a change has to happen, and not sure how to enforce it?
We’ve been there, and once again, the strategies we tend to think are for business can actually make a pretty big impact at home as well.
This was another inspiration from a work email, where I saw how the importance of communicating change can affect not only the workplace, but also in your own home.
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Where are we this week?
I have to be honest - we have had visitor after visitor after visitor for months now!
This week we moved over to Orlando to visit with some friends from all the way over in Washington! Their daughter turned 13, and wanted to spend it with our girls. A few days of fun, including running errands, playing at the campground and going to a jump zone made for a great visit.
Follow us on our journey on Insta as the FieldTripGypsies!
Consider the Impact
Speaking of impact, think about that. First and foremost, when you want to communicate something, who will be impacted by it? What is the ripple effect? Who all needs to be in the know?
It’s been a long day. You’ve been home with the kids and they’ve played hard. It’s not been a bad day, but it’s definitely been high energy, and you’re feeling pretty wiped. You agree to do family movie night with the kids and the excitement and expectations are high. BUT…your partner walks in the door after being gone all day, ready to say hey to the kids and get them off to bed for some much-needed quality time…and before you have a chance to say a word, the kids are all over the place talking about movie night. And right there, you see the disappointment and the different agendas clearly.
Your job is great – you love your coworkers and there is a great sense of community. However, you know a merger is coming and some of your colleagues will be fired. Your boss hasn’t communicated anything – it’s an upper management decision…but you’re feeling torn because it does impact everyone.
Some additional resources for you
- What is your goal?
- Discuss, but never argue
- Tension Points That Cause Couples To Argue
- Communication, Connection and Prioritizing – Where is Your Spouse In Your Life?
- 2 Reasons Why Social Media Is Helping You, and 1 Why It’s Hurting You
- Chaos of the Heart – Rawness Equals Connection
- 7 Seconds will change your communication and connection (Episode 62)
- What we have here is a failure to communicate!
- Feeling Angry Today?
How Do You Pace And Communicate Change?
This really boils down not just to clear communication, but exactly what you’re communicating. How big of a deal is it? Is it a major change? More than one change?
Consider how they will be affected – think of personality styles and how they’ll take this – is it too much change at once? Overload?
Know the Personality Styles
This is where personality styles is so key – if you can understand the fears and what triggers a reaction out of someone – if you can understand how they are best motivated – it can completely shift the conversation so you are able to communicate effectively.
So let’s go back to the two scenarios above – how could you best communicate to them?
It’s been a long day. You’ve been home with the kids and they’ve played hard. It’s not been a bad day, but it’s definitely been high energy, and you’re feeling pretty wiped. The kids ask for a movie night and you…
Consider the impact.
Think of your partner and their needs.
So you pick up the phone and call them or text them. Check in with them. You know they are more of a bottom line person, because their personality style is a D – so you know to begin with the end in mind. A simple, hey babe, we’ve had a good day but a full day. The kids want to do a movie night tonight. Would that work for you, or did you have something else in mind for tonight?
Now you get the opportunity for everyone being on the same page – the kids knowing how both their parents are feeling about everything, and being able to make a clear decision that would work for everyone – maybe opening the door to just plan on what night would be the best night for a movie night in the next week.
That is key in communicating effectively – not that you just get your way, but when everyone is heard and different personality styles are considered so you can come to an agreement that works.
Your job is great – you love your coworkers and there is a great sense of community. You have the inside scoop and know about the merger. Not only that, some of your colleagues will be fired. Others will have their positions re-evaluated and may see a drop in pay.
Is it your job to tell them?
Does your boss have a bigger game-plan to communicate than what you’re clued in on? Have you clearly communicated any concerns or insights you have into the process?
Looking at how you can communicate effectively both at work and at home allows for more calm, trust, and ease in your life.
The Two Lessons
Lesson #1 – Prepare for change by clearly communicating and finding ways to adapt/embrace it.
Lesson #2 – Be wary of making too many major changes at once. Pace it for the needs of the people.
In a word, it is all about respect.
Open communication with others signals respect for their time, input, and value as a person.
Your Weekly Challenge:
Practice communicating effectively in your home and beyond. There are two lessons here: one is to prepare your people for change by communicating with them and finding ways to help them adapt and embrace it; and, two, be wary of making too many major changes at one time.
We’d love to hear from you with an example when something needed to be communicated and you were able to do it with consideration of who they were and how they would respond best. Because each of us is different, and the more we can recognize and honor it, the more we can see how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.