Do You Have a FULL Life…or Simply A Busy One? (Episode 191)
Do you have a full life...or a busy one? Sometimes we wear our "busy" as a badge of honor; yet is that really the life you want to live? Is that the excuse you want to give?
There was a point in our lives where we were really busy. We had our hands in so many different work projects, young children at home, organizing neighborhood events...
We liked being busy. We were building our life. Sometimes there IS a season for being busy and really hustling hard. But the term "busy" vs. having a full life...there is a different mindset around these.
From "Busy" to a Full Life
It's not that we stopped so much activity for us. It's that we switched that terminology from being "busy" to saying, "I have a full life." There can be activity going on without this busy-ness as a badge of honor. That's the MO for our culture, yet acting stressed and overwhelmed isn't the energy I want to live in anymore.
Yes, I have a full life at this point. There is a lot of energy, movement and activity in our home. Yet it's not just busy for no reason.
Get Comfortable With Saying No
One of the first things that came to us with how we switched from busy to a full life was learning to say no.
We had to get real with what we could take on. In 3 Reasons You're Stuck (Episode 189), we addressed the biggies of obligation, feeling responsible for others, and the clutter of the home, head and heart.
It can be hard to say no when you feel obligated or responsible. It can be hard to say no when your tasks seem daunting.
Yet any time you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.
By saying yes to that obligatory birthday party, you've just added picking out a birthday gift, navigating traffic and crowds, eating sugar/junk food, and seeing that "friend" who drives you crazy. Is it worth it? One yes just opened the door to a lot. And in that yes, did you say no to a down day of relaxation you really needed? Did you say no to healthier food choices that make you feel better, and no to hanging on the back porch with your neighbor, which is waaaay more relaxing and energizing?
Check Your Approach
We live in a culture of busy. And oftentimes, that seems to be the way we connect to others - to dump out the load of all the "busy" in our lives. We share all the things we've had to do. "Busy" is a bad habit that's easy to fall into. It's a comfortable shoe.
We justify our luxuries. We see rest and recovery as indulgences of life we have to "earn" by working ourselves ragged. It's like a fight to earn the right to not do anything...yet we get so trapped in our busy lives we don't even allow for the space to recharge, much less have the time to justify it.
Living a full life is a choice. Being "busy" is what sneaks in the gaps when our life isn't full. Busy is the trap of looking active, yet not always with purpose.
Be careful falling into the trap of one-upping your friends with how busy your life is vs. theirs. Pay attention to if you're wearing this as a victim badge you're burdened with, or whether you're owning your busy-ness as the choice that it is.
The Full Life
We have a high energy family. We've matched Nathan's high energy...not because we were forced to, but in our desire to come together as a family, we recognize we've all adapted a bit to connect. I am very driven, and I've used that to fuel more energy to keep up with Nathan's pace.
Knowing the different personality styles can really help you better understand that way your family flows. People have different motivators - accomplishment, connection, logic, fun... The more you can understand that beautiful tagline we say, the better you can work together as a family team.
The uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us
How Do You Flow?
It's not that we've slowed down to doing nothing. We are up and at 'em by 5am, typically! Yet it's a flow of movement; not pushing and muscling through a day.
There is only so much you can control. A biggie for us is allowing for the "defrag" time. We pack in a lot, but just as importantly as packing in the big tasks that keep you so busy, we also prioritize packing in the time to rest and recover. We pack in the time to handle the curve balls.
Check your motive on your "busy". Is it accomplishing what you need, and are you balancing the exertion of activity with a time of recovery?
If you don't make an appointment in your life to prioritize YOU, it's not like anyone else is sitting there thinking about when they can stop time for your moment. If you don't own it, don't expect someone else to do it for you.
Recognize the importance of protecting your yes, and creating a balance. Just like breathing, you can't just exhale. You have to prioritize the moment to inhale and recharge.
This is critical if you want to run the day vs. the day running you.
Check Your Mindset
Sometimes we don't get to control the speed of the current, but we can always determine our approach and how we swim through it. Are we fighting it every step of the way? Using it to float while we recharge a minute? Or in a rhythm of movement and flow that energizes us?
Even with the best of plans, curveballs happen. There will be times we are caught unprepared. Like Nathan stressed last episode, drama doesn’t make an appointment!
Being busy is a choice. We can fill our lives with the choices we make, and soak in a full life.
Bring this to your awareness. Are you giving off the impression that your life is busy, or that you have a full life.
Switch to gratitude. Something so powerful is to simply shift your focus from what you have to do to what you choose/get to do. Can you find gratitude for what is going well in your life? Can you focus on the good vs. the stress?
Can you look at a full schedule, and instead of stress and overwhelm, you look at your schedule and see intentional choices?
Shift your mindset from busy to a full life. From out of control to in control. Recognize you can choose gratitude, positivity, and intention in your life. By nature, we have a negativity bias - and that can help keep us safe, for sure. It helps us remember what doesn't help us. That negativity bias can help you get out of trouble...as long as you don't sit there.
Yet shift to gratitude right now with where you are and what you have. Look at what you can appreciate in your full life. Can you create a full life with plenty of bandwidth to still open the door to a new opportunity or relationship?
Find someone you know that you see living a full life. Reach out and connect. Recognize when someone has a full life vs. a busy life, they may be wide open to the opportunity to connect with you...because it's their choice to embrace that. People are more open than you often realize...if you're willing to open that door.
Dig Deeper with These Posts and Episodes:
- Get the Free Family Vision Email Series Here
- Drama Doesn't Make An Appointment (Episode 190)
- 3 Reasons You're Stuck (Episode 189)
- My Soul Is Crying For Change (Episode 188)
- Curious about taking your own family adventure in an RV? Check out all the goodness here
- When Adventures Go Awry (Episode 51)
- Adventure is a Mindset (Episode 52)
- What are your behavior defaults, and those of others in your home?
- What Is A DISC Personality Assessment?
- What Is Your Goal?
- Coaching with Ashley