My Soul Is Crying For Change (Episode 188)
Change is inevitable in our lives…yet it can be scary and overwhelming. How are you navigating change? In your home, your work…your life? Sometimes we’re navigating change that is unwanted or unexpected, like the weather or, let’s say, 2020 as a whole.
But then again, sometimes the changes are those aches and pains of unrest, resentment, frustration and more, and they will continue to pester us until we proactively incite a change in our lives.
Who Is Driving Your Car?
This past week in our 48 Days Eagles community, we addressed this very topic on our Monday Mentor call. My father, Dan Miller, and I talked about what it takes to change - not just to navigate the changes we know will happen just through the unpredictability of life, but also how to incite change when you need to.
Think about that quote above - we can coast through life being a victim of circumstance. We can let our car drive itself and hope we don’t crash too hard or damage anything in the process. Or, we can take the wheel, determine what type of life you want to live…and then incite the changes to make it happen.
No Passion, Purpose or Plan
Listen to this plea:
“Simply put, I have no passion. I live to exist, to put it bluntly. I am successful for my career path and totally miserable. I am blessed beyond belief but can barely meet each day. I am scared to death that God will judge my discontent, but it is there nonetheless. As a coach told me, "my soul is crying for a change". I just have no idea what that change would be. I have read Dan's books, listened to the podcasts and looked for answers on 48 Days Eagles. ……. I just do not seem to be finding any answers on the site and cannot continue to spend the money on something that is not helping.” Bruce
This was a recent cancellation in our Eagles community. And, we make no claim that this community is for everyone. Yet, that being said, it wasn’t the community that was holding this man back or not helping him. Let’s dig a bit deeper…
What Really Matters
My father shared about a lady who was adamant free coaching was needed - because she was absolutely stuck without a coach, yet didn’t have the money to pay for one. My father’s response was that she really didn’t need to be stuck - here is what he shared:
For my Masters Degree thesis I ran a study where I conducted experiential growth groups for participants over a six week period. I was excited to show the amazing value of being led through the personal development process by a trained coach. I had over 200 students show up to be included - so I split those; half of them were allowed into my growth groups and the other half (my control group) were told they could start at the end of the six week period.
We measured for "self-actualization" at the beginning and the end of that first six weeks. Surprisingly - ALL of the 200 showed dramatic increase over the six-week time frame, even though only half had been in the organized coaching groups. It showed that the key factor was the mindset and motivation - if a person was motivated toward personal growth, they would find ways to make that happen even without a formal process in place.
Remember the Mindset
Yes, coaching can be so valuable. But the first step isn’t finding the right coach. It’s not finding the right book, course, person, class, podcast, or anything else external.
It is, and always will be, first and foremost your mindset. How teachable are you? Are you looking for how to grow? Are you running toward the positive, or being held back by the negative? Where is your focus?
Remember the Mindset
I love that quote, because it can be laid out in two ways - yes, the teacher can arrive and will have more success when a student is receptive. But even more so, what I take from this is that, when you are ready to learn, you’ll find learning opportunities and ways to grow all around you.
Start with knowledge, move to understanding, and then create a plan for application.
The 3-Part Plan
If you want to incite positive change in your life, you need three aspects:
- Start with knowledge
- Move to understanding and
- Then create a plan for application.
We can get stuck in knowledge acquirement - just becoming an information/education junkie storing up more and more information…with no application.
You have to determine how you are going to take that knowledge and really look at understanding how it is relevant to your own life and what you can do with it.
And then, you have to create - AND ACT ON - that plan. No great works happen just because someone thinks about it. You have to actually act on it.
The Power of "I Am"
While I’m not a huge Joel Osteen fan, I love this quote, and definitely recognize his passion for pursuing positive thinking:
Whatever follows “I am” will eventually find you. Whatever follows “I am” will determine what your experience will be. Whatever follows “I am” we are inviting into our life. Think about what you invite in:
- I am exhausted
- I am frustrated
- I am lonely
- I am overwhelmed
You are inviting more of that into your life! How can you flip that script and speak it into reality in your life? How can you invite in more of what you want and less of what you don’t want? First step…stop speaking about it!
My father shared ten characteristics of people who end up rich with his podcast listeners:
- Expect Success
- Create a clear plan
- Work Hard
- Avoid Debt
- Be teachable and a lifelong learner
- Exercise self-control, persistence, and delayed gratification.
- Accept Personal Responsibility
- Keep Good Company
- Remain Opportunity conscious
- Enjoy the present but plan for the future
And one of his listeners made a pretty profound adaptation - look at - and really sit with - how these same statements impact you with simply adding two words to the beginning:
- I am Expecting Success
- I am Creating a clear plan
- I am Working Hard
- I am Avoiding Debt
- I am Being teachable and a lifelong learner
- I am Exercising self-control, persistence, and delayed gratification.
- I am Accepting Personal Responsibility
- I am Keeping Good Company
- I am Remaining Opportunity conscious
- I am Enjoying the present but planning for the future
Riches can be in a variety of ways - and these characteristics will definitely make you rich in all areas of life, not just your bank account.
What mantras are you setting for yourself? How are you opening yourself up for navigating change positively, and actively moving toward it?
My parents have agreed on a 2-week decision making process. Dad lays it out like this:
- State the Problem
- Get the Advice and Opinions of Others
- List the Alternatives
- Choose the Best Alternative
As you have hopefully heard on the podcast episode at the top of this post, setting a deadline for when you are going to act is so, so important. And, when there is more than one person involved, ensuring you ALL agree on the deadline helps to create a team of accountability vs. people against one another.
Pay attention to what you really want to change in your life. Get real with what that will take, and what your deadline is to make it happen. And then…go forth and ACT.
Recognize change affects us all differently. The more we can come to an understanding on who we are - the more we can recognize and celebrate our own inner light - the better we can see it in others, the better we can navigate - and create positive change, and the better we can see how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.