by Ashley Logsdon

Does Your Personality Change Over Time? (Episode 341)

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Does our personality change over time? I get that question a lot as a coach with a specialty focus on personality styles. And it's more complex than a simple yes or no. I'll ask you this -

Does your understanding of self change over time? 

As I sit down to write this, I can't help but think of the significant impact knowing our strengths and constant growth have had on me and my family. While I've known about personality styles and talked about DISC for over 30 years now, I'll be the first to admit that how I show up as a D/I/C wired person now in my 40s is very different than how I showed up as a child, or in my teens or twenties. 

In our latest podcast episode below, Nathan and I explored the lifecycle of strengths and the transformative process that takes place as we navigate through different stages of life. This was inspired by my mentor Deb Ingino, and her blog post on this topic: The Lifecycle of Strengths

From the experimental twenties to the refining period in our thirties and beyond, our strengths evolve, adapt, and shape our experiences.

How is that working for you?

Listen to this episode on iTunes, Pandora, Audible, SpotifyStitcherGoogle PlayTuneInYouTubeiHeartRadio, Radio.com, Gaana or your RSS Feed 

The Wide Open Younger Years

When we are young, we are full-throttle. As we learn about impulse control, our default reactions to life come forth without a lot of discernment. That's why, when I'm talking about personality, I'll say that a confident and secure 3-year-old with a strong personality style will very likely have a similar style to that same person as a confident secure 93-year-old. 

Yet there is a lot of life to live in between. And a lot of different hats we choose to put on. Some are helpful, like learning to wear the hat of leadership during a crisis, even if it's not your natural tendency. You learn what you need to do to get you through it. Some may not be so helpful, like wearing the hat of the cynic for too long - it may hep you for some discernment, yet can thrust you into a web of negativity. 

When we're young, we're trying on different hats. We're experimenting with what gets us what we want, and we're mimicking others around us to learn better who we  want to be. 

Want to dig deeper as a family and learn how to better communicate? My DISCovering You course walks you through understanding how different behaviors elicit different reactions, and how to navigate being true to who you are while learning how to best connect with others.

Unraveling Pressure, Finding Clarity

Then, when we hit our late teens/early adulthood, we're hit with the pressure of "what do you want to do?" and "who do you want to be?" like we're supposed to have it all figured out by then. 

Why do we need to rush to decide our future trajectory before we've even fully experienced what life is like without depending on our parents for everything? Are we really meant to have it all figured out so early on...before we have the wisdom of any experience beyond living with our parents?

This is where the journey of self-discovery and experimentation comes into play. What if we embraced the twenties and early thirties as an experimental phase, where we explore and uncover what truly ignites our passion and purpose?

This time is about stepping into the process of self-discovery, trying on different roles, and learning from the failures and successes that come our way. This is a time where we start to unravel the "shoulds" and look at who we really are and what we want to create in our lives. This is often when we're formulating our future - and every relationship may shift that. 

Think about all the relationships you interact with in your 20s that could completely change the trajectory of your life. Is it a job opportunity you never dreamed of, or meeting the love of your life, or a child that shifts everything? 

Permission to Pivot and  Grace For Growth

I'm all about fostering a growth mindset. It helps us to evolve, recognizing our struggles as stepping stones to learn something new, or ask, "What does this make possible?"

As we grow, it may completely shift our trajectory. When I was younger, I thought I would be a stay-at-home mom of boys, shuttling them to and from soccer practice and making elaborate dinners from scratch while practically living at the church, as I had grown up doing. 

Well, I'm a mama, yet I have all girls, work from home, have nothing to do with sports or religion, we all cook, and sometimes it's not from scratch. My life has shifted from what I thought it would be, and I'm all the happier for it. I gave myself grace for growing and learning something new, and...permission to pivot. 

Our twenties serve as a period of exploration and curiosity, where we test the waters, learn from experiences, and gradually carve out our paths. Our lives are all about flexing and growing as we interact with the ever-changing world and people around us. 

Refining Your Expertise

Into our thirties, we hone in on refining our specialties and areas of expertise, be it in our careers, parenting, or other facets of life. It's a time of building on the foundation laid in our twenties, delving deeper into our strengths, and channeling them toward our aspirations.

I learned how to embrace my assertiveness as a high D style to propose a carefully thought out plan instead of just throwing ideas out into thin air and hoping someone else would approve one that would stick.  I learned that just because I had an answer, it wasn't always the most helpful - sometimes people need to learn for themselves, or someone else has earned the right to speak to them versus me.

This period encapsulates a meaningful stage of self-discovery, honing our strengths, and embracing the wisdom that comes with experience.

Nathan and I have had the opportunity to reflect back on over twenty years together now, and wow are we not the same people we were when we met at 18 and 19! We met as we were in the early development of who we wanted to become - and we have grown and lived together to evolve into who we are now.  

While our core personality traits remain constant, our approach to them evolves with time. It's about recognizing the essence of who we are while adapting and growing in alignment with our ever-changing circumstances.

The Power of Self-Reflection

We're in a world where social media has become the new therapy, with meme after meme proclaiming how to love yourself and be who you are amid all the "shoulds". Yet, as we addressed in the last podcast, it's not just about knowing what you like and who you are. 

The reality is, who you are and how you choose to show up in this world impacts way more than just you. It greatly impacts everyone in your home in addition to others you interact with at work, in the community, and more. Can you be who you are yet flex for the role needed? How I show up to play with my kids and their friends looks different than how I show up in a business meeting with a work deadline looming. 

The reality is, just like my tagline on the podcast, "The uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us." Our differences in approaching relationships pave the way for synergy and personal growth, as we leverage our strengths to connect with others and enrich our collective experiences.

Your Weekly Challenge:

This week, I challenge you to embrace the evolution of your strengths and reflect on how they have shifted and adapted throughout the various phases of your life.

As you navigate this journey of personal growth, consider how your strengths have shaped your experiences and relationships.

Think back and revisit your childhood activities, school interests, downtime, and moments of recharge to identify the common themes that have threaded through your life. 

Let's lean into the transformative power of self-reflection and embrace the fluidity of our evolving strengths.

Remember that beautiful word, "Namaste;" a reminder to honor the light and strengths within each of us. So, breathe deep and embrace your evolution. The uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us! 

About the author, Ashley Logsdon

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Ashley Logsdon is a Family and Personality Styles Coach and Lifelong Learner. She and her husband Nathan are RVing the States and unschooling their 3 girls. Her mission is to shift the mindsets of families from reaction to intention, and guide them in creating the family they love coming home to. Looking deeper than the surface, we assess the strengths, triggers, and simplifying your lifestyle so you truly recognize how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.

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