How We Eased Into A Life We Don’t Escape From (Episode 201)

Wow, 201 episodes in, and this is a day to celebrate! 4 years ago today, the Mama Says Namaste podcast was created. 5 years ago today, Mama Says Namaste was officially launched as a business. And 40 years ago today, I was born! (For the record, 41 years ago tomorrow, Nathan was born!)

In this episode we look back over the last decade and the crazy shifts we made to get to where we are at this point. Not only do we share more about the mindset and actual shifts in our own lives, but we lay the four essential steps we chose to take to get there. 

We speak our hearts each week to give any inspiration and insight we can to help others create the joy in their lives that we are so glad to experience. It's not pure luck. It's very focused intention. If you want it, we're confident you can create it. 

Our "No Excuses" Milestone

Yes, I'm officially in a whole new decade. That is powerful. And, looking back over our 20s, this year, I will officially have been with my husband Nathan for as long as I have been separate: 20 years each. This is our "no excuses" year - that means you can't use any stories of your past before your partner as an excuse for relationship struggles moving forward. My sister-in-law told me that a while back and I thought that was a powerful "anniversary" to celebrate. 

We've really been reflecting back on everything - we have now spent more of our life together than apart, and, in this decade, we will celebrate every one of our children entering into adulthood! 

It's crazy how much has shifted in our life over this past decade. So we wanted to address the four steps we took that are as summarized as possible for the decade of immense growth we've just been through. Now, facing into my 40s, I'm more energized, refreshed, in better health (mentally, physically and emotionally), and ready to rock a new decade! 

We didn't get the yellow brick road of an easy life. We simply chose to be intentional about seeking it out and creating it. 

The Words We Threw Away

Yes, the first thing in our mindset shift was literally changing the words we spoke. 

Words like can't, have to, should, but, and either/or are often laced in a fixed mindset, obligation, and comparisons. 

When we start to acknowledge the power of our words and how it affects our mindset, this is the first rudder for creating a life of intention. 

Pay attention to your words. I had a client that would repeatedly say, "I don't know." Well, why not? Because you choose not to find out? Because you don't want to?

Are your words becoming your mantra just to excuse you from doing anything about it?

After Semantics...Your Four Steps

#1: Simplify, Simplify

When I first started my journey of decluttering, my goal was pure minimalism. I was smitten with the minimalist movement, the documentaries and insights on how I could live with just barely anything. 

Harsh reality. Kids can bring a LOT of clutter into a home. And the more people we have in our lives, the more clutter we can create on the mental and emotional side. And that's the true essence of this. It's not about just whittling things down to nothing so you don't have much to carry. It's about getting super intentional on what we really choose to carry with us. There are three aspects to this.

Clutter in your Home:

First off, the literal clutter in our homes. Goodness gracious it can really take over, especially with kids! On the podcast we really dig into this aspect, and my crazy realization that taking on second-hand items meant I was just carrying around someone else's obligation without taking into account my intention!

The biggie here on clutter is that it is not just about clearing out what you have; it's about being very intentional on what you are choosing to take in. Just because it's free or on sale doesn't mean you need it. Just because someone gifted it to you doesn't mean you have to hold onto it.

If you need to clear the clutter, here is a quick help for that:

Beyond decluttering, get very intentional about what you choose to bring into your home. The reason you may constantly be decluttering is due to the accumulation. I was just sitting here with my oldest daughter as she was weeding through her Dropbox account that was completely out of storage. As I helped her put it into perspective, think about this - if you simply get one thing a day, how many THINGS is that? For the sake of the conversation I had with my daughter, what about a picture a day? 

At this point in my life, that would be 14,600 things. 14,600 pictures. 14,600 files or documents online. 14,600 knick knacks that were on sale that might look fun somewhere...I'll figure it out later. 14,600 outfits I'll fit into "one day".

Clutter in your Head:

Beyond clearing things out of your home (and keeping them out), the head clutter can be overwhelming. For me, it's often the "to-do" lists - all the things I "should" get accomplished - see those words cropping up! The first biggie for me is that when my head is full of thoughts, to-dos or ideas, I need to get them out - is hard to remember everything when it's floating around inside! Maybe it's my visual learning style - I like to see it in front of me, written down. So I make lists. Anytime I have a mess of clutter in my head, a list is created. And then, when I look at said list, I can oftentimes pick out the top priority pretty easily. Once I check it off, I pick the next priority and so on. And, many times, I find that a lot on my "need" to do list isn't really as important as I thought, and I was carrying extra stress for now good reason. 

In addition, that heavy responsibility of saving the world. Yes, some of us carry it all on our shoulders. We try to fix everyone around us, or "save" what isn't ours to save (like a business you don't own), or, worse yet, we take on the responsibility of everyone else's happiness in our lives. That is a weighty one for sure. What is really in your control? What can you truly make a difference with? It reminds me of my favorite quote:

If you want to take on the responsibility of the world, start with yourself. Start by looking within and being responsible for bringing your best self forward. That is the first step. 

Clutter In Your Heart

On top of the mental to-dos that can completely clog up your brain space, there are the issues of obligation and approval-seeking. 

We can also get lost in the obligation to others, or in trying to prove our worth to everyone else. I've heard a lot of this recently as some who have embarked on the path of homeschooling post-2020 are realizing unschooling is an option. And the question comes up, "how do I prove to everyone else that this is the best option for my kids?" I know there are "yes, buts" to this, and this will be a podcast in and of itself, because I recognize there are times where the need for "approval" is due to another legal guardian in a child's life. 

What I'm focused on here, however, is not the people making decisions for your family. I'm talking about the neighbors, the community members, the other friends and family who may question what you are doing. 

Who are you doing this for? In the scope of life, do you want to make decisions based on what your crazy neighbor down the street thinks? Are you looking to have this other person run your life for you? Because unless you are, getting their "approval" simply means you are aligning with what they view as the "right path." 

#2: Get Present

Yes, get present. Not just focusing on the past, or even on what you want to create. Get intentional about embracing the present. On the podcast, we share how we created "Logsdon Love Day." It's anytime we want it, and spurs more from our own joy-seeking vs. a staged scenario. 

Now let me be clear. I know holidays are holidays for a reason. And people celebrate them for all kinds of things. And yet. If you are celebrating Christmas as a Christian holiday...can you not celebrate the birth of Jesus anytime you feel gratitude for it? If you are celebrating Mother's Day, does that mean you can't bring her flowers or show your gratitude any other day?

Instead of staging joy when it fits into our schedule, we got present with being aware when it came in our lives, and stopping to relish it. That meant stopping to dance in the rain, giving that special gift or doing that awesome thing even if it wasn't couched in a birthday or holiday. We simply celebrate whenever we want, as often as we want! 

We still can celebrate holidays; we simply don't postpone our joy for a vacation, holiday, or anything else we have to plan for. If joy comes in our lives, we embrace it! And if we want to add more, we create it. 

#3: Pay To Play

I want to be very clear that we aren't looking to just play without hard work. Work ethic is big in my world. With my Amish-raised grandmother, it's been drilled into my head, "If you're going to do it, do it right."

I want to be very clear that we aren't looking to just play without hard work. Work ethic is big in my world. With my Amish-raised grandmother, it's been drilled into my head, "If you're going to do it, do it right."

When I say we are looking at a life of ease, that does not mean always taking the easy way out, being a slacker, or mooching off of anyone else. 

We wanted to play, and yet a big part of feeling the joy and ease is also ensuring our basic needs are met - and that means we also have an income and/or nest egg to sustain the lifestyle we want. 

There are several ways you can plan for and create a lifestyle you don't want to escape from.

• Maybe you really hustle hard for a set period of time to build up a nest egg or pay off debt. Debt can really loom over a family, so setting a clear strategy to pay off your debts as well as provide your daily needs is really important. For us, at 36 & 37, we had spent the past four years really setting aside any extra money we could to build up a nest egg and pay down any debt. 

• Look at multiple streams of income. We knew that the life we wanted was not specific to one location, so we knew we had to look for creative work opportunities that were location independent. My work as a relationships coach is all virtual. My clients meet with me via phone and Zoom. The personality profiles on this site can be purchased at any time, so this is something where I'm not trading my time for dollars (SWISS dollars, meaning "sales while I sleep soundly"). My work with 48 Days and the 48 Days Eagles Community is another income stream, where, again, I'm not just trading dollars for hours, but looking at a base rate with a commission payout structure. When you are bringing in income from multiple areas, it can help so much - you aren't reliant on one sole source to bring in everything. It can be intimidating to find that one perfect job that pays you exactly what you need and gives you everything you want. Instead of looking for the one big job and the 30 year commitment, what other ventures could you try, even for 90 days to a year, that could bring in income? Can you make $10k in one, $30k in another, and another $15k in a third? 

• Beyond different work streams that could bring in income, also look at investments. Where could you make an income with selling or renting assets? We have potentially four rental properties, bought in different ways with our investments, that we can rent out for ongoing income. Our houses being rented out while we RV the States covers not only our mortgages, but typically campground fees as well. 
•  And speaking of that, the third way you look at creative ways to pay for the lifestyle you want is what you may be able to do for free. For example, we volunteer with the Florida State Parks, and will be down in the Keys from July-October of this year as a camp host. Yes, that's three months staying in a state park in the Florida Keys for free, people. That is a pretty sweet gig, especially when we love to volunteer and do so much to help the parks just on our own. Workkamping is a way to travel and work as you go, oftentimes with the exchange of a free place to stay and sometimes a small stipend. Then there are house swap scenarios like WorldSchoolers Exchange and Trusted House-sitters where you literally swap your house or loan it out to others who will not only watch your house while you're gone, but often takes care of pets as well.

Look beyond just making money and really get clear on what your purpose is for it. In our quest for more more more, we can get lost in simply making more money - especially if you are an entrepreneur - without taking the time to embrace the life we're living right now. Be very careful about just hustling indefinitely in a quest for more. Those amazing things will always remain "one day" until you put a date on it and make it happen. 

#4: Big Vision, Next Step

You have to get clear on what the vision for your life is. Do you know what that truly is? If you don't, here is a quick three question exercise to lay it out that I got from my incredible friend, Marianne Renner, who is amazing at walking people through mindset and limiting beliefs.

She posed these three questions to me as I worked on my own personal vision for my life:

1. Who do I greatly admire, and what qualities do they have that stand out?
2. Who are you when you're at your best?
3. What do you want to be said about you in your last days?

With these questions in mulled over, I was able to create my own vision:

Beyond my own vision for my life, I also want to take into account the vision we've created for our whole family - our family vision. Below is ours, along with extra insights into how we use them as our Guidelines for Life:

Your Challenge

Take a look at where you are right now with your life. Are you happy with where you are? Looking back three years from now, what will have changed in order for you to be happy with your progress?

How are you getting intentional right now to have that vision happen in your life? Going back to my sweet friend Marianne, I have a quote saved on my computer she says often:

"Awareness is always the key that unlocks the door to our next level of growth." - Marianne Renner