This episode airs the week of Mother's Day, so who better to talk to than my mama? I have a candid talk with my mother, Joanne Miller, about my own upbringing, and the 5 pillars of respect I was raised by and continue to live by and coach others on to this day.
There are five key pillars to respect that can create a happy, healthy home
This is a special edition - this was a recorded video interview, and the full interview is below. Unfortunately, my microphone gave me fits through the recording, but all the content is so great, we wanted to share it anyway. You can watch the video below, or listen to this podcast episode here, on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play, TuneIn, YouTube, iHeartRadio or your RSS Feed *Now also on the Pandora app and Radio.com!
My Mama Joanne Miller
My mother, Joanne Miller, has had quite the journey of motherhood not just because she had me (which is journey enough!), but, as a mama to many, she has had nurturing down to a fine art, and for many years, I aspired to be exactly like her.
As I grew, she was my biggest supporter in not being just like her, but being truly, authentically, fully me. A key element in this is respect, which was always enforced in our home growing up.
Yet...not like how you might think. This isn't about an authoritarian household where it's "my way or the highway". It's about mutual respect with parents and with children.
Mom is the author of 5 children's books and two adult books, and is currently working on her first novel. She shares a lot about her story and journey in her book, Creating A Haven of Peace: When You're Feeling Down, Finances Are Flat, and Tempers are Rising.
The 5 pillars of respect
We pack a lot into the video interview below, which is the full podcast episode in video format. We cover our five essential pillars of respect:
- 1Awareness: Are you aware of your surroundings? Your Impact? Do you help your children see/notice what's going on around them - what their impact is, how their energy shifts, what they are feeling on the inside?
- 2Manners: Not barking YESSIR! but extending consideration, courtesy and gratitude. Are you thanking your children, or just expecting them to say that word?
- 3Prioritize yourself and your partner: Are you taking care of yourself? Are you giving space to recharge? Are you prioritizing your relationship with your partner and making time for them, or has your marriage taken a back seat to the kids?
- 4Authenticity: Do you allow for natural consequences where the "punishment fit the crime" or life just kicked back? Are you open and honest with your children and willing to be vulnerable and ask forgiveness?
- 5Remember the Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would have them do unto you. Put yourself in your child's shoes. Have them get a glimpse into how you think and feel. Speak with love and respect to one another, and give space for privacy as well.
Dig Deeper...
Some additional resources for you based on our video conversation:
- The Only Advice New Parents Need To Know (Episode 59)
- Parent Styles – Are they helpful or harmful? (Episode 102)
- Parenting: United or Divided?
- If You Want Daddy To Be Involved, Get Out Of The Way
- Mommy Needs A Time Out
- Natural Consequences, Discipline…or Punishment
- How To Be The Perfect Parent
- Words of Wisdom for New Parents
- True Parent Struggles: Attitude, Listening and Life Skills (Episode 96)
- True Parent Struggles: How To Treat Others (Episode 93)
- No Secrets: Love Is An Open Door (Episode 32)
- Every Action Has A Consequence (Episode 30)
- 10 Essential Lessons In Life: Natural Consequences
- Natural Consequences, Discipline…or Punishment
- On Boundaries – Your Children Are Not The Center Of The Universe
- Has Your Marriage Taken A BackSeat?
- The Top Qualities for a Successful Marriage (Episode 123)
Your Weekly Challenge:
Comment on this post. Hop over and check out Mama Says Namaste on Instagram or Facebook. Share what takeaways you got from this call and tag @MamaSaysNamaste.
We'll be pulling three listener comments from our audience to win a "Mamaste" goody pack from me, including my mother's book, Creating A Haven of Peace.
Questions or comments?
Personality styles, marriage/intimacy, parenting, education, minimalism or travel - what is pressing on your mind?
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Oh that’s great – thanks for sharing, Adrienne – I’ll be sure to pass this on to her!
Ashley, for the single mom who responded to your post about needing help with getting her son to grasp respect, can you please let her know about Emerson Eggerichs’ book “Mother & Son”? It’s full of great insight on Respect-Talk with your boy, and you can use it with any age. I’m a few chapters in and it’s truly life-changing!