Rest and Reset…Daily (Episode 207)
How often do you make space to rest - and reset - in your daily life? As Nathan and I have looked back on our lives, we've essentially had at least one major life event every single year we've been married. Buying houses, having children, new jobs, big trip adventures...it seems we jump from one monumental thing to another!
And so today we want to talk about the rest and reset strategies that allow us to keep up the energy momentum of Energizer Bunnies in our home. It's not because we wear the badge of running ourselves ragged. We recognize the power of the pause, slowing our roll, and the impact of a reset.
We can quickly lose ourselves in the process of loving our families well - there are constant demands and needs - so how do we ensure we fill our own cups so we have the energy and bandwidth to be there for our family?
#1 - The Power of the Pause
This is a biggie we talk about a lot - and yes, 7 seconds can really change your life. As we talk about personality styles, some people speak before they process, and some process before they speak. It's two different modes of operation, and both can be important.
Sometimes, it is critical to act fast. We need those quick-action takers to yank a child out of danger or make a decision in a moment of crisis. The Ds and the Is of the world are more fast-paced and visionary. They will "think on their feet"...sometimes to the point of not thinking things all the way through before they act. Definitely more of a ready, fire, aim approach!
The S personality style and C personality style tends to gather more facts and observe more before they act. They definitely follow the mantra "Think three times, speak only once." While a C or an S style may not be the first to speak up or act, when they do, they have thought it through and it's worth listening to.
So let's get technical. It can take 3 seconds for a thought to go into a D or I wired mind before they are going to spit something out. For an S or a C, it takes a full 7 seconds. I have tried this experiment for the past three years with all of my group coaching and mastermind sessions. And I kid you not, every single time I allow for a pause and mentally count 7 seconds, an S or C speaks up at exactly 7 seconds!
Additionally, as you see in the graphic below, there is even more we can get into with the different styles by understanding the differences in our left brain vs. our right brain!
So our #1 insight - remember to pause. Not just to allow yourself to breathe and collect your thoughts, but to also allow others to do the same. When you allow for the pause, you also make space for a conversation you may have never had otherwise.
#2 - Slow Your Roll
Beyond the pause is the power of simply slowing your roll in general. We can move so fast in our world that we become a tornado force and don't always recognize what may be left in our wake. I can see this quite literally in my 8-year-old, who moves so fast she still struggles with not spilling drinks constantly.
And so we have this graphic printed off in our house. We practice slowing our pace quite literally. We add in the 7-second pause, and we slow. our. roll.
Beyond simply slowing down, that means also being very clear on what all we allow to take over our days. That means not getting so lost in all the to-dos that we are reacting to chaos and becoming a victim of circumstances in our lives.
When we look at slowing our roll, we move beyond just allowing for rest and recovery opportunities; we're looking at intentionally allowing for the space to simply breathe with no agenda. With every inhale, we have to allow for a full, beautiful exhale.
When we slow our roll, we do it like this -
- Sitting with the present - bringing full mind/body/soul awareness through guided meditation, yoga, and simply being still and present.
- Focusing on gratitude - taking the extra time to acknowledge what we're grateful for and not take it for granted.
- Prioritizing down time as much as "on" time - ensuring there is a balance in the day on what demands our attention/energy and our bandwidth.
#3 - Remember to Reset
There are always going to be moments where we veer off course. We take on too much and are overwhelmed, we don't make the space to rest, or, even worse, we get stuck in a downward spiral of one poor decision after another.
Remember - you can always, always choose to reset. Just reboot! Start over! Right now, with a clean slate, determine who you want to be moving forward. And then step into it. Start being that person now. It may not change your past, but it will definitely impact your future.
We reset regularly. We reset after a trying day, after a poor decision, and after anything that has completely pulled our energy. A reset looks different for different personality styles - here are some examples -
- D-wired resets may be things like completing a project, beating their personal best in something, accomplishing something, or pulling away from people and focusing specifically on a project.
- I-wired resets may be things like shopping or going out with friends, playing games, and otherwise socializing. They may need to verbally process their emotions and just talk things out.
- S-wired resets are things to recharge energy used up oftentimes by being there for everyone else! So Ss may enjoy napping, reading a book, watching a show or simply observing activity from the sidelines.
- C-wired resets, first and foremost, are solitary! A C may need to reset with silence or blank space. Going outside, looking up into literal space, and focusing on breathing and the steady rhythm of it is a beautiful reset for this personality style.
For all but a high I style, often times people need opportunities to recharge and reset on their own. My sister-in-law used to say, "Take a break from the ones you love so you can love them better". I love that. Sometimes pulling away is the most loving thing you can do for your family to come back to them with a full cup. And that's what this is about.
My father lays out this analogy well in this video - how often do we try and love others well while not acknowledging whether we're pouring riches over to them from our empty cups? Pay attention here - which one do you relate to?
And so I ask of you - are you giving from a full cup? Are you creating the space for you to recharge and reset, or are you running on fumes most of the time?
Recognize there are many who wear busy as a badge of honor. Is your busy-ness and chaotic lifestyle one you are a victim to with no control over? Have you lost connection with yourself so much that you haven't really sat to just be in a while?
Pay attention to how much you are doing vs. being. Are you balancing the push and pull of life? Are you remembering to exhale as much as you inhale, and setting boundaries to ensure your own needs are met as you are meeting the needs of others?
This isn't just a selfish act. It's a personal responsibility. When we show up maxed out, stressed out and exhausted, we are doing a disservice to everyone, including ourselves. Show up fully today, by allowing not only the action and movement in your life, but also the rest and the recovery that allow us to honor space for others and truly see how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us. Namaste.
Dig Deeper with These Posts and Episodes:
- 7 Seconds Will Change Your Communication and Connection (Episode 62)
- What Is A DISC Personality Assessment?
- Make Me Feel Important – The High D Style
- Precocious People Person At Your Service: The High I Style
- Never Confuse Kindness for Weakness – The High S Style
- Dot Your i’s and cross your t’s – The High C Personality Style
- Let Go And Say No: Manage the To-Dos and Keep Your Family First!
- Head Clutter and The Chaos of Overwhelm
- Do You Have a FULL Life...or Simply A Busy One? (Episode 191)
- Family Culture, Boundaries and More with Jodi Chaffee (Episode 174)